kcactf: part iii

A little late, but here's the next installment, continuing on from where we left off! Next time, look forward to my last day in LA: The stage reading. It's gonna be good! :)

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When I made it to the workshop, I was ten minutes late (merp). The workshop was, “The Voice of the Playwright” led by playwright Kathleen Cahill. She talked about Van Gough’s A Starry Night. How he created a masterpiece—and challenged us to find our own “starry night.” She had Ariel and I (and everyone else) write down five words in a starry night and then we went around the room and shared our words. Then she asked us what stood out from all the words read. Then, out of those words, she asked us to find the most “human-esque” words—the most relatable to humans. After we did that as a group, we then wrote a monologue using those words in any way we wanted. Then we shared our monologues out loud. My notes from the workshop:

5 Words in a Starry Night

Trial.
Longing.
Victorious.
Alive.
Unapologetic.

What We Remember:

Hope
Afghanistan
Finite
River
Immense
Pressing
Frozen
Light
Drunk
Cyprus
Pebbles
Cityscape
Heavenscape
Snow
Fear: What lies underneath the fear? Anger.
Found
Tears
Bright
Follow-Through
Blue

I’m never gonna be the dad you’ve wanted—I’ll never be him. I can’t take away what I did, put a band-aid on it, and call it good. No, it’s gonna hurt, it’s gonna make you bleed again and again. I wish I could say, “Sorry”…You don’t need a dad. You need to move on. I can only be me, and if that’s not what you’re looking for, then... I guess we’re good.

After that, Ariel and I went to the next workshop on our schedule called, “A Jury of Your Fears,” which was more of the informational and business side of playwriting. We learned the Bill of Rights for a playwright (I won’t go into details about each “right,” but it was a highly insightful talk that gave me an understanding of what my future will look like at a purely logistic level):

In Process and Production

1)      Artistic Integrity

2)      Approval of Production Elements

3)      Right to be Present

Compensation

4)      Royalties

5)      Billing Credit

Ownership

6)      Ownership of Intellectual Property

7)      Ownership of Incidental Contribution

8)      Subsidiary Rights

9)      Future Options

10)  Author’s Contract

The meeting was an hour and a half and I was falling asleep toward the end. I excused myself during the Q&A portion and took a 20 minute nap before getting lunch and attending the next workshop, “Women Playwright Initiative.” Ariel attended the workshop with me as well as Bianca Dillard-Morrison. Throughout the workshop, we talked in circles about what it means to be a woman playwright and how we can bring a voice to the women in America, even in the current male dominated playwright world. What I took away from the workshop was this: My voice as a woman means something to someone—I can change lives through producing my work and it happens through one play at a time. One word at a time. It was an inspirational and insightful meeting! YEAH WOMANHOOD.

Immediately following that workshop, there was another entitled, “From Playwrights to Producers.” I sat through half an hour but it wasn’t shaping into the workshop I’d hoped for (Ariel definitely agreed). I was also getting text messages and calls from Carol and Wade throughout the entire workshop about making corrections to my play for rehearsals and the culminating staged reading the next morning. Ariel and I left and I raced to my hotel room to make the corrections Carol was concerned about and emailed it off to Wade for him to print off the “final” version of the script. !!!! I was so exhausted, but so happy.

As already mentioned, Ariel, Bianca, and I went to get Greek food for dinner together! It was my first time! I had a pita with hummus and other Greeky food in it. It was so delicious! I also tried some of Bianca’s falafel. It was seriously one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. After dinner, we went to see another invited production called “Charm” by the playwright who led the “Voice of the Playwright” workshop earlier that morning.

My thoughts on Charm: I don’t do poetic writing. I do contemporary. I do realistic. I do emotionally connected relationships. Haha Charm, for me, was the exact opposite of everything I am as a writer (which was a GREAT experience for me…as I realized later). Charm challenged me through the poetic and witty writing, the presentational rather than representative performance style, and the overwhelming feeling of stupidity I felt as an audience member. Most of the writing went over my head and I almost left at intermission because I had no idea what was happening. I felt like the playwright was mocking me—alienating me from her work. I hated that feeling—not just for the obvious reasons, but because I desperately wanted to have an open mind. I wanted to understand. But I just didn’t. What I learned: Write in a way that doesn’t spoon-feed the audience or alienates audience members, but encourages emotional connection and a universal understanding.

After Charm, I went to another rehearsal for my show. We did one read through, talked more about the script, and went our separate ways. As I tossed and turned in my bed that night, I couldn’t stop worrying about the next morning, when my play would be read out loud for the first time in a performance. !!! Ariel and I talked. She comforted me and I was so grateful for her friendship.

I said a long, heartfelt prayer asking for comfort after Ariel fell asleep. “You’re gonna get it” and “You’ll be fine” entered my thoughts and I pushed them away. I didn’t think I was good enough. I didn’t think it was the Spirit—I thought it was just my desperation…But I finally fell asleep and all I could think was, “Maybe I am good enough. Maybe I will get it.”