All Girls Are Princesses

On this Sunday evening, I found myself longing for a good cry. Enter: A Little Princess. This movie was a special movie my dad and I shared as a young girl. Sarah's relationship with her father perfectly mirrored how I felt about my 'Papa.' Her absolute faith in him and in magic. Her belief in make believe. Her resilience in the face of adversity. Her strength in the unknown. She embodied how I wanted to be at her age, and upon watching it again today, has re-instilled my desire to be just as fearless.

Of course, I cried like a baby, so that wish was fulfilled. Have a happy Sunday, everyone. Remember, all girls are princesses.

My Shoelace Testimony

My heart's full, my eyes itchy, and my spirit at peace. Tonight was closing night for the Microburst Theatre Festival. I've watched all five performances this week, each time nervous and excited for whatever would come. All the actors did a fabulous job with the play scripts, though I may be a bit biased (shout out to Michael Comp and Jacob Swain in Shoelace)! Words can't express how touched and humbled I am at how a moment in my past has helped and informed others today, right now. How powerful is that? How awe-inspiring?

Granted, along with bearing my testimony through Shoelace, came the unprecedented worry and doubt of the audience's reaction. More so than any time I've bared my soul on the pulpit. But guess what? Each time Shoelace began, the Spirit settled on the audience and in me. Each time Shoelace ended, the Spirit calmed and electrified me, as well as the audience. It was palpable, and I'm not being some weird, theatre hippy haha. The audience's applause felt genuine each time Michael looked up, with the unspoken question so clear, "Who am I now?"

I am grateful for my past, present, and future. I am grateful for my struggles I've encountered up until now. Though I wasn't the typical 'BYU' student, I was a woman with questions about my worth, testimony, and value. I was confused, but hopeful in finding those answers. And, man, those answers only came through a harrowing journey. I remember the first time I tried praying after he left...My heart recently broken and my words unsure of themselves. I remember feeling myself split in two as soon as I kneeled next to my bed. Who was I to pray? Who was I to break up with this man? Who was I to love him? Who was I to choose a temple marriage? Who was I to want the Gospel and, at the same time, give it up? Who was I to question God's existence? Who was I?

Courageously ask, "WHO AM I?" and then forge ahead with bravery to find the answer. That is my testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I am an ISFJ Playwright

Ah. So many thoughts and thinking things going on in this melon of mine tonight.

Being a playwright is hard.

My new play is hard.

Articulating the exact emotions and dialogue needed for the two characters is just...I don't know if I can do it right now. Each time I open it up, I have to put it away after a while because the personal feelings attached to the scene are still so raw. You'd think I'd be fine, it's just ten pages long. Just five more pages and the first draft will be finished and I can rest easy. ><

This play I'm dedicating to my younger sister, Julia, you see. This play is a conversation I wish I could have with her at the moment. This play currently fills the distance between us because I can't be with her when she needs me. And, my goodness, does that hurt.

Zac often worries when I don't separate my personal feelings from my work (ie at Station 22, my research position at BYU, ect). haha I love him, but that's not the girl he married (which he knows). I am a passionate, genuine, emotion driven individual. [Sidenote: I took several Myers-Briggs personality tests this weekend and found out I'm an ISFJ]. Whatever task given to me, I tackle with passion, genuineness, and emotion.

I love Julie. She deserves all the passion, genuineness, and emotion I can muster. Blergh. It'll happen. haha One way or another, it'll happen. (:

one year anniversary...pt 2

When you have your sweetheart...

You can be yourself.

You can laugh.

You can cry.

You can hug.

You can eat good food.

You can frolic.

You can watch Brave.

You can hold.

You can comfort.

You can be there for him//her.

I love my sweetheart.

He did all of this with me today.

Today we celebrated our first year of marriage.

We also had a huge emotional surprise--one I'll never forget.

You're in my prayers, Daddy.

year reviewzorz

January

My family moved from Burlington, Kansas to Buckeye, Arizona! I turned 20 two days before Zac...and broke up with him on fb to scare some people. hahahha We had some fun.

February

I was in "The Importance of Being Earnest" with Utah Shakespeare in the Park and got engaged to my very very best friend, Zac Hickman.

Gosh, I love them.

March

I had some fun in my first makeup class, found my wedding dress, and wondered if I should keep pursuing an acting major.

April

I finished up the hardest semester of my life, did my proficiency audition, and found out I was ready to move on. I said goodbye to my wonderful roommates: Emily, Amber, Lori, and Hannah. I went back to Arizona to be with my family before getting hitched!

Arizona chicken. Odd.

May

I went on a road trip with mom and Julie to Kansas to see my brother graduate high school. I got to meet up with some old amazing awesome friends, including Wooge. I went to California to visit Zac for the first time in three and a half months. I also touched a sea urchin for the first time ever! :O I then came back to Arizona to do some last minute wedding planning with mommy.

 Photo cred: Logan Whittington

I love you guys.

June

Mom and I made a road trip out to California together the week of the wedding and HAD A BLAST. We stopped by a huge outlet mall somewhere in California where I found a dress for both the honeymoon and the day of my endowment session. Lots of crazy things happened that week: dates, cake testing, reception decorating, friends flying out, and mass confusion/excitement. But it all came down to the best day of my life:

I was married on June 24, 2011 in the Los Angeles Temple to Zac Hickman.

And then four days later, on our honeymoon in Hawaii, he did a back flip into a pool hit his head and was rushed to the hospital. He didn't remember us getting married. He didn't remember me for a while. Oh, wow. Biggest scare of my life.

Do not approve.

>:(

July
I started to get used to the word "wife" and "husband." We came home from Hawaii, took a break in Arizona with my fam, and then went back to California so Zac could work before we headed off to school. We saw the 3am showing of HP7p2!

A Hawaiian cave. o.O

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

We got to watch the 4th of July fireworks on a beach in Hawaii.

Luckiest girl ever is me.

Harry Potter happy excited satisfied obsessed ecstatic faces.

5:30 am, don't judge.

August

Zac, Poter, and I went to see Ludo live in LA! AMAZING.
Zac, Karen, Stephanie, and I loaded up the car and drove from California to Utah. We stopped by Vegas and had a great time! (No gambling or booze drinking for me and Zac! haha) BYU started and I figured out I wanted to be a playwriting major and an English minor. :)

September

I was cast in a one act play, "The Stronger" by August Strindberg. 

We rehearsed for 3 weeks then it went up in early October.

Definitely changed my life.

October

We carved pumpkins with Emily and Tim!

I was a zombie for Halloween.

November

I got to see my dad for the first time in a year and a half for Thanksgiving. We rode a Greyhound bus to Colorado from Utah.

I.Hate.Buses.

December

We wrapped up our finals, celebrated Emily and Tim getting married, enjoyed our 6 month anniversary and had our first Christmas together!

I also learned how to do a hairbow.

:)

An amazing year, to say the least. The best is yet to come, methinks.

I'm ready for you 2012.