I think sometimes I get this idea in my head that the more stuff I have going on the better person I am. In fact, that's exactly what I thought of myself in high school. Band, vocal, track, cross country, forensics, plays, National Honor Society, college night classes, church activities. I sincerely thought that was all I had to offer.
But college does something to you. It makes you throw away all that extra stuff and just try to find what's real. Who you really are. Just be by yourself. Be still. I know that sounds cliche, but I'm totally serious. College makes you find yourself.
Sometimes we may find that we were right all along-those extracurricular activities in high school paid off and they are still a hobby or a career choice for us now. And sometimes we might not like what we find.
That's the best part. :)
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So last night I took an hour and half out of my day to just sit down and read for fun. A favorite book of mine sat tempting me on a bookshelf on the fifth floor of the library all the way in the back. As I was staring at the book's alluring spine, I thought to myself, "Self, you are only allowed to read for half an hour. Then you leave the library and go do homework." My hand seemed to move on its own accord as it grasped the book from its papery neighbors. Then my legs whisked me away to the girls bathroom and flung me into a huge comfortable chair. (Yes, when I first found lounging chairs and couches in the restroom, I was a little weirded out. But then I realized that this is BYU. Women come in to nurse babies. And there are a ton of babies here).
My old flame with a fiction novel, on a school night, a forbidden rendezvous, was suddenly re-lit.
I lost track of time and, after a while, I forgot where I was. I was completely gone to another world. This world belonged to Jodi Picoult's characters in "The Tenth Circle." SUCH A WONDERFUL STORY. Oh my gosh. So good.
Anyway, when I finally tore my eyes away from the book, I looked up and saw the sky that had previously been pink and purple at sunset was now a deep black. I jumped up quickly and almost fell over again because my legs had fallen asleep. As I was stretching out my back and legs, I just breathed. I mean, really breathed in and out and let it go through me. I haven't felt that wonderful in a long time.
"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." -Gordon B. Hinckley :)
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If you were reading this to know about the dream I had last night, haha. Sucks for you. But let me tell you. It was absolutely terrifying.
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