My eyes are full of the sandman's sand.

Dude. 8:49 am.

I haven't been up this early in "a looong time. A long time."

I quote Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars Episode IV when Luke is meeting Ben for the first time. Obi-Wan hasn't been called "Obi-Wan" for a long time. A long time. :)
My all time favorite Star Wars goes to Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.

Now, onto the reason I am up so early. School starts this coming Monday at 8 am. I am incredibly nervous to wake up, get ready, pack lunches, read scriptures, and then have enough time to hustle my lazy butt out the door  for class. I promised both Zac and myself yesterday I would set my alarm for 7 am and try to stay awake until 11 am. Then I can nap for a good hour, eat lunch, and then stay awake from 1 pm to 2 pm. For this is my school schedule. :)
After this first trial run, I have discovered several solid conclusions:

• Make lunches the night before.
• Pick out my clothes the night before.
• Take out my contacts before bed. 
• Backpack needs to be fully packed the night before.
• Dinosaur sandwich cutters made the morning so much better. :)
• Apparently, I am not Superwoman, though I tried very hard. :(

I opened my scriptures this morning to 3 Nephi 28 and studied the last part of the chapter. What stood out to me in this particular study session was the hopelessness I'd experience if I affirmed life after death is a false reality. To some, the surety they hold that nothing comes after death is reassuring. To others, they are indifferent toward what may or may not come. Some hold a banner proudly overhead, exclaiming death is just death. Our lives began when we took our first breath and will end when we cease to inhale and exhale. We decompose. We eventually become one with the soil. 

To each their own.

As I pondered, I relived certain moments in my past. Suddenly the words flowed out of me and onto the lines of my journal:

"Why would I only decay after a life of mistakes, rejoices, and hearts touched? Why would I only turn to nothing after all the hardships, trials, and repentance? Why would I feel the Spirit if it isn't real? Why would Christ suffer for me if it wasn't for an eternal purpose?"

I know many friends and family who've shunned religion because of this, that, and the other. One rejection I've heard many times, (some poetic license used), "I am centered in knowledge and learning. I do not base my logic on feeling. I do not believe in something by feeling alone. God, Jesus, Religion are false because the people who follow it are blind, brainwashed, and ignorant. God, Jesus, Religion are false because it seems only feelings are important, while facts are disregarded. God, Jesus, Religion are false because so much depends on what is felt and not seen."

Forgotten is how we as humans truly learn. Yes, logic and reasoning is an obvious way to gain knowledge, which I highly condone. I love school. I love looking at a difficult concept from a new angle. I love the frustration involved with educational learning and life in general. 

Love is learned through feeling. Our foundation for learning lies in feeling. With passion. With yearning.

I discussed this topic with Zac the other day. He made an interesting point, "Feeling what is true and what isn't is a very basic and core part of us." Wise words, honey. :)

I've found through doubting religion, casting it aside, and then realizing I no longer felt anything at all, that my life could be so much more than logic, reasoning, and facts alone. The very act of breathing is a logical as well as a symbolic reminder we are alive. Why should I breathe if it is only for this life alone? 

I may be a simple girl. I may seem uneducated. I may seem to believe in fairytales. I may seem to be naive. I may strike you as a blind, brainwashed, and ignorant fool. But one thing I am not is ashamed.

My life is how I choose to live it.

Whether religion is a part of yours or not, you make decisions everyday that will impact you and those around you physically, logically, spiritually, and emotionally. Our brain and heart may be separate entities, but they work in harmony to keep us alive. Though our brain keeps exploring, learning, analyzing, and reaching logical conclusions, it is our heart that gives us the desire to do so in the first place. 

Romans 1:16
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth..."

John 6:33

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

*Note that this post's intention is NOT  for shoving my beliefs down throats and screaming,

"My ways is the only way."

**For neither is yours. :)